I thought I felt like a failure before, but now I really do.

If I was feeling like a failure before, it’s nothing compared to what I’m feeling right now.

I really wanted this book published on Ian’s birthday.

But I also what something I’m happy with — something he’d be proud of me for. It’d be a gift to him. It keeps going around in my head.

So I’ll put off publishing so I can have something I feel good about.

But man, does it suck not being able to give my son the gift of my first book being published on what would’ve been his day.

I guess the saying “Can’t have your cake and eat it too” is true. Still sucks though.